My views: Not necessarily. There may be some sort of general obligation to live commodiously, but it has limits. Sometimes one should say or do something that has the effect of making someone feel bad. I do want to work out more thorough principles for these cases but haven't given it sufficient thought yet. (My slogan would be that political incorrectness and indecency are not the same thing; the latter is bad while the former is not necessarily so. But one can be decent and still occasionally cause offense.)

While some of the discussions surrounding political correctness give the impression that feminists, cultural theorists, etc. would say that there is an obligation not to make someone feel bad, I don't think that is really one of their commitments. First, they don't mind making others feel bad when they think it justified, so at least if they are committed to such an obligation, they apply it inconsistently. But I think they would reflectively profess to be more generally concerned with structures of oppression and internalized oppression. By making minorities feel bad in some cases, you are contributing to their negative self-image, which they internalize, leading their disadvantaged position to be perpetuated and replicated in future generations.

iwpoe wrote:

Let's be careful to distinguish "cultural theorists" from folks who talk about appropriation and pronouns a lot.

I thought a bit for a term to use here and couldn't think of one broad enough.

But "folks who talk about appropriate and pronouns a lot" is about right.

ArmandoAlvarez wrote:

What does political correctness have to do with it?

Recently a lot of discussion about the ethics of verbal offense has been related to political correctness.

ArmandoAlvarez wrote:

Isn't not saying hurtful things to one another a very ancient and widespread ethical teaching?

In some form, probably.

But the original question was, "What obligation, if any, do I have to 'not make someone feel bad'?" It is possible that one should never aim at hurting someone's feelings, but that is consistent with it being permissible to offend someone foreseeably but unintentionally; that is, it is consistent with there being no obligation not to make someone feel bad.

Suppose someone does something grossly immoral. You know he has thin skin and does not take criticism well, but you critique him anyway, knowing that it will hurt his feelings. That might be fine.

On the other hand, shame is unpleasant and 'feels bad', and there are times when it's acceptable to do something or say something that makes someone feel ashamed. So maybe it is even acceptable to intend that someone feel bad, if they have done something shameful.